Recording a difficult work situation clearly

You are not the only one going through this

A representative survey of 5,015 employees commissioned by Germany's Federal Ministry of Labour and Social Affairs found in 2024 that 6.5 percent had experienced bullying by colleagues or supervisors. That is not a fringe experience, even though it often feels deeply isolating inside your own team.

This figure says nothing about how your particular situation should be judged. It simply says that taking it seriously is a reasonable response, not an overreaction, and that plenty of other people have found themselves in a similar place.

Many people wait a long time before they write anything down at all. Often that comes from not wanting to seem oversensitive, or from a quiet hope that things will improve on their own. Both reactions are entirely human - and both mean that important early details tend to slip away.

If you're reading this, you've probably already noticed that a feeling on its own rarely convinces anyone. That's frustrating, but it isn't a judgement on you or on what you've experienced - it's simply how procedures and conversations in organisations and courts tend to work.

What this actually feels like day to day

It often starts quietly: a dismissive comment here, being talked over in a meeting there. Taken on its own, each incident can feel too small to raise. It's only in the accumulation that a pattern starts to feel unmistakable.

Alongside that often comes an inner tug-of-war between self-doubt and anger: Did they really mean it that way? Am I exaggerating? Am I overreacting? That doubt isn't a sign of weakness - it's a very normal response to a situation where the other side effectively controls the story.

Many people notice trouble sleeping, weekend rumination, or a familiar tightness on Sunday evening before the week even starts. The body often registers how serious things are before the mind is ready to admit it.

Meanwhile, work usually carries on - deadlines get met, tasks get done. That can later be used against you, in the sense of 'it can't have been that bad.' Which is exactly why it matters to take what you're experiencing seriously, independent of how well you're still managing to function on the surface.

Courts don't read moods, they read incidents

In German labour court proceedings, the burden of presenting and proving facts lies with the employee. A general reference to a diary is not enough; what's needed are individual, dated incidents with location, people involved and a concrete sequence of events.

The Rhineland-Palatinate Regional Labour Court ruled in 2015 that a diary written up after the fact, with gaps and inconsistencies, carried little evidential weight. Writing things down promptly and specifically isn't a sign of mistrust - it's preparation.

In practice, that means a note like 'boss was impossible again today' won't get you very far later. More useful is something like: 'At 9:14am, in a team meeting, in the presence of Ms K. and Mr T., Mr M. said, roughly, that my input was “worthless as usual.” He then removed my presentation from the agenda without asking any follow-up questions.'

This level of detail can feel oddly clinical for something so personal at first. But that's precisely the point: documentation doesn't exist to explain your feelings, it exists to make what actually happened understandable to someone outside the situation - a judge, a works council member, a lawyer.

Separating observation, impact and interpretation

Most notes fail not for lack of effort but because they blend three different things: what was objectively observable, what it did to you, and what you think or suspect about it. All three matter - but they belong in separate columns.

Observation is what a camera would have recorded: words, actions, timing, who was present. Impact is what it triggered in you: you couldn't concentrate afterwards, you skipped your break, you stayed tense for the rest of the day. Interpretation is your reading of it: 'that was deliberate,' 'that was meant to humiliate me,' 'he only does that to me.'

A simple format helps keep these three layers apart: date and time, location, people present, the exact or paraphrased statement, your immediate reaction and its impact, and - clearly marked separately - your own assessment. People who use this structure consistently often find the overall picture becomes noticeably clearer to themselves too.

This separation also protects you: it helps you see afterwards which incidents genuinely carry weight and which were more likely just someone having a bad day. Not every unkindness is bullying, and a clean structure lets you make that distinction deliberately, rather than leaving it entirely to gut feeling.

What a note like this can actually look like

One example of a complete entry: 'March 12, 2:20pm, third-floor office, present: me, Ms S., Mr B. In front of Ms S., Mr B. said: “I wouldn't have expected this even from an intern, but nothing surprises me with you anymore.” He then pulled back my documents without reviewing them. I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the afternoon and only answered two emails the next day. Assessment (interpretation): I experience this as a deliberate put-down in front of others, not factual criticism.'

What happens around the incident also matters: were others treated differently in comparable situations? Are there emails, chat messages or calendar invites that support the account? Such supporting documents are often worth more than an elaborate description of how you felt.

Note down details that seem unimportant in the moment too: who else was in the room but stayed silent? Was the incident mentioned later in a different setting, perhaps downplayed? These small side-notes often reveal a pattern that wasn't visible in any single incident.

Also record neutral or positive moments where they contrast with the troubling behaviour - for example, if a different manager commented on the same piece of work calmly and respectfully. That contrast makes visible that the issue wasn't the work itself.

What's better to avoid

Avoid reconstructing notes from memory weeks later. The greater the time gap, the more facts and feelings blur together, and the easier it becomes for someone to find inconsistencies that weaken your overall credibility - even if what you're describing is entirely true.

Avoid sweeping statements like 'he's been bullying me for months' as a stand-alone entry. Without specific individual incidents, such a sentence remains a claim that's hard to substantiate, even though it may feel absolutely accurate to you.

Avoid naming colleagues as witnesses without asking them first. That can damage trust and put people in a position they didn't choose to be in. Ask beforehand whether, and how, they'd be willing to confirm anything.

And avoid keeping your notes in systems your employer can access - more on this in the security section below. A well-intentioned document on your work laptop can end up working against you exactly when you need it most.

Protecting your notes

Keep personal records off work devices and out of your employer's systems. Use a private notebook, a personal cloud account, or a document on your own computer that you can back up separately.

Decide deliberately who you show your notes to, and when. Sharing them too early with the wrong person can do more harm than good - for example, if information finds its way back to the person you're writing about.

Consider anchoring key milestones externally too, such as emailing yourself a timestamped summary or leaving a dated document with someone you trust. That creates an extra, hard-to-dispute time marker.

This article is preparation, not legal advice. If deadlines, safety, or possible discrimination are involved, get local legal advice - from an employment lawyer or a recognised counselling service.

What's realistic to expect

Good documentation makes your situation understandable - it does not guarantee any particular outcome, whether inside the company or in court. That's a disappointing thing to hear, but it's more honest than promising false certainty.

What you can realistically expect: more clarity for yourself, a sturdier basis for conversations with HR, a works council or a lawyer, and a foundation that lets others actually assess what the sensible next step might be.

Some situations resolve after one calm, well-prepared conversation; others need a longer, more formal path. Both are possible, and neither is a measure of how 'bad' your situation objectively was.

Give yourself permission to see the process for what it is: tedious, sometimes sobering, but an active step you're taking for yourself - regardless of how things ultimately turn out.

One small next step

You don't need to write down everything that's happened over the past few months today. Start instead with one recent incident, recorded using the structure above: date, place, people involved, the exact statement, its impact, and - separately - your interpretation.

Save that single entry somewhere that belongs to you, not on a work device. That's the only step you need today; everything else can follow once you're ready.